Maybe try and merge the backstory/about the sentinel intro, and tighten them up with the 'best bits' so your character becomes clearer and more epic...
In fact, you should do that with the whole build...
It feels like the main body of your character is quickly discussed and then you move a little too quickly into stats/weaponry/poisons/combo's...
As usual, it's difficult for me to explain, it feels a little list-like. You have playstyle notes far down in the build but that's a section that should be maybe pushed more towards the top, you have a section designated to 'playing the sentinel' but the whole build should all be about 'playing the sentinel'...
I'm pretty rubbish at explaining what I mean.
Work on:
- Tightening the build up (removing details that simply aren't needed, 'less is more')
- Flow. Rather than having strict sections try and just flow evenly from one part to the next, it feels a little bit jolty.
Lots of work here though! +1
Maybe try and merge the backstory/about the sentinel intro, and tighten them up with the 'best bits' so your character becomes clearer and more epic...
In fact, you should do that with the whole build...
It feels like the main body of your character is quickly discussed and then you move a little too quickly into stats/weaponry/poisons/combo's...
As usual, it's difficult for me to explain, it feels a little list-like. You have playstyle notes far down in the build but that's a section that should be maybe pushed more towards the top, you have a section designated to 'playing the sentinel' but the whole build should all be about 'playing the sentinel'...
I'm pretty rubbish at explaining what I mean.
Work on:
- Tightening the build up (removing details that simply aren't needed, 'less is more')
- Flow. Rather than having strict sections try and just flow evenly from one part to the next, it feels a little bit jolty.
Lots of work here though! +1