The Story Corner » Discussions


Blog and Story Editing Service

Back to Topics
This topic has been closed.
  • Member
    June 26, 2016

    Yeah I had a comma there originally, but got rid of it when I added the "and". I think I'll add it back in, since I like how it sounds with the comma.

  • Member
    June 26, 2016

    The comma without the 'and' would have been incorrect grammar. Here we have two independent clauses which could exist as lone sentences:

    I already had a lead to look into. If need be, I could come back later.

    (The comma after 'be' is proper usage, but the number of pauses you want in a sentence is up to you, as long as the meaning is clear.)

    These two clauses are independent, so they could not be joined by a comma. These are two examples of incorrect comma placement:

    I already had a lead to look into, if need be, I could come back later.

    OR (without the comma after 'be')

    I already had a lead to look into, if need be I could come back later.

    They need a conjunction to stitch them together in order for it to be grammatically correct:

    I already had a lead to look into, and if need be, I could come back later.

    OR

    I already had a lead to look into, and if need be I could come back later.

  • Member
    June 26, 2016

    Yeah, that's why I added the "and", I realised it was wrong without it there. The version I've posted has both the comma and the "and" in it because I like having the pause there.

  • Member
    June 26, 2016

    Oh nice! Good job fixing that up. :D I think the pause is nice too - it gives a beat which I like to use a lot as well.

  • Member
    June 26, 2016

    I know it hasn't been that long, but I've got another one. This time another short about Cyre. And since I can't post anything for the next 23ish hours it isn't urgent :D

  • Member
    June 26, 2016

    I changed something, so here's that version. I also deleted the original from the first comment :)

  • Member
    June 26, 2016

    Thanks, Wing! I'm happy to know I'm actually improving in areas- gives me motivation to go forward in my pursuit of writing skills. Anyhoo, the blog post will be up soon. :)

  • Member
    June 28, 2016

    Hi Goldie, I'm so sorry I took so long. I wish I had proper excuses, but I'm just a true lazy shitebag. :)

  • Member
    June 28, 2016

    I can relate to that. Shall we be true lazy shitebags together?

    Thanks :)

  • June 28, 2016

    I could use some thoughts on a new little thing I wrote. It's a VERY short story, but if it goes over well enough I think I could see it being the start of a long story as well. Thanks for anything you can help with. 

    A Simple Case of Diction


Back to Topics
This topic has been closed.