Skyrim Character Building » Discussions
Recognized Rank
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How's my Black Phantom? Any improvements to make?
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Your pictures are quite large and more often, screenshots fare better than artwork. Try to show the guy in combat a bit more, use more Skyrim-centric pictures at certain points (Arniel's Shade and Keening are big features, so have a specific image of each). Also, go through it with a fine-toothed comb and try to cut out repetitive or miscellaneous sentences. Get to the point efficiently--not quickly, don't chop too much, but you have the same tendency that I have, which is to ramble.
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For build ideas, pick through other games you've played to find a playstyle, or re-read some Tricks and Tips selections for a little-used mechanic, or look through the Recylcing Bin for some discarded ideas and make them fresh.
Honestly, your build is so new that the only thing it needs to level is time. It's one of the best new-builds I've seen, man. You'll soon be talking to Curse.
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I'd suggest moving your pictures around. The screenshots are all pretty much the same size and pretty large. Although they do break up the text, they make huge chunk blocks. Try to reposition them, but also look to your formatting. Most people expect the race and stats to be nearer to the top, while headers for other sections stand out more. The layout is fairly confusing. Telling people about gameplay before explaining skills' uses and your weapons confuses the flow of the writing. Look over at other builds and you'll see most of them follow a similar flow (title, background, stats, skills, gamplay, quest/roleplay), because this sort of listing is more natural.
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