By Auguris Cedas
Skelebob number one was when we walked in,
I never knew that I could scream that way.
And skelebob number two was in Labyrinthian,
He showed up and I just ran away.
Now we've got skelebobs by the dozen, skelebobs by the score.
Every corridor we go down, we find three skelebobs more.
Yes I've got skelebobs by the dozen, a fight that I can't win.
But the day you stop complaining, that's the day old Alduin's won.
Skelebob number three was an Akaviri,
I never knew that they could hit that hard.
With grumbling that could be heard back in Markarth,
You killed him and hauled me back upon on unsteady feet.
Now we've got skelebobs by the dozen, skelebobs by the score.
Every corridor we go down, we find three skelebobs more.
Yes I've got skelebobs by the dozen, a fight that I can't win.
But the day you stop complaining, that's the day old Alduin's won.
Authors Note:
Now follows an expert from the lives of Auguris and Lydia, in screenwriting, to give some background to the term “skelebobs”.
SHROUD HEARTH BARROW - DAY
In the depths of Shroud Hearth Barrow, Auguris and Lydia are slowly making their way past numerous Draugr and traps after discovering that the haunting was merely a ruse by a greedy Dunmer to obtain the sapphire claw.
AUGURIS
ARGHHH
LYDIA
What on Nirn? Oh it’s a skeleton, seriously Auguris!
AUGURIS
But it’s supposed to be dead!
LYDIA
Skyrim’s a bit, umm special, we have a lot of undead, necromancers like it here, the cold preserves the bodies
(swings sword at approaching skeleton)
AUGURIS
(ducks away from the splintering bones which are flying in all directions, hears a splosh, looks over into the pool of water)
Um, what do you think his name was?
LYDIA
What? (twists to fend off another skeleton) One minute you’re scared as a bairn, the next you want to know what his name was?
AUGURIS
I wonder if it was Bob?
LYDIA
(sternly)
Bob?
AUGURIS
Well his head is just bobbing around...
LYDIA
One day Auguris… How on Nirn did your wife ever cope with you? This is not the time
AUGURIS
Well he’s now a dead dead skelebob
LYDIA
(shakes head)
Come on, there’s still more of them and whatever else is buried in here
Comments
Was looking forwards to see this get posted.