Being the child of a well-to-do Thalmor ambassador, I have never been a stranger to the pompous. My mother, in her stark black robes, was often surrounded by ingratiating politicians. I can remember in my childhood thinking she looked like something of a mother duck with a long train of needy ducklings at her heel. I remarked as such, in the boldness of my youth, and Mother laughed for quite some time and soon took to calling them, naturally in private, her "ducklings." Of course, as I grew older, the situation lost its comedy and became quite the irritation. Bootlickers seeking her favor, diplomats demanding her consideration. Were I her, I would have been driven beyond the point of insanity. I have never had the patience for the bleating of sheepish men and mer. Yet another reason to remain in my study and let my brothers fight over Mother's job. My mother, in her critical, scornful, yet sharp and mocking way, always seemed rather bemused by the fools in her wake, and I could not stand but to chuckle at the light in her eyes when she was dealing with her little ducklings. Through long-winded appeals and boisterous braggings and pathetic flatterings, Mother could sit, with a straight back and an unreadable expression, listening, and then come back with a concise response, often masking some sort of stab. My mother had a sharp mind and a sharper tongue.
Sitting beside Bilandis at the front of his carriage, it was painfully obvious to me that my mother would have been much more capable than I to handle this traveler.
Bilandis was making some remark about my state of dress when I realized I could not even recall climbing up onto the seat beside him or even how it had come to be so late. Ever since Bilandis had first began talking, everything seemed a blur. He could go from talking about the weather to politics to gossip to obscure references I did not understand, and I had the faintest feeling I was being deceived somehow, though I barely had enough gold remaining to tip him for his kindness, if one could call it that.
Eternity seemed to roll by as we meandered around curves and over hills. In the faint glow of the moonlight, I watched dense stands of pine trees pass us by on both sides as I struggled to pay attention to the things my host was saying, in hopes I could pick up something useful.
"Don't see many Altmer out on their own," he was saying in his high pitched voice, his mouth seeming to be perpetually cocked to the side, "Justiciars, mayhaps, but lone travelers? Much more peculiar. I don't suppose it'd be polite to ask your business down here in Falkreath?"
For a moment, I thought that warranted an answer, but once again, Bilandis was already continuing on.
"Now, I don't gossip, of course, as I do certainly believe it's a grave unkind thing to do and starts all sorts of nasty rumors and such, but I'd say there's a certain suspicious nature to it, indeed. Your condition, that is. Now, you're just lucky your friend Bil Bundle- That's what my friends call me, short for Bilandis Bittybundle, you see, and you should feel just free enough to call me any shortenin' of the name as you like. Though you're a brother elf, 'n' I suppose you wouldn't have as much trouble with the name, as these Nords with their bumblin' tongues do, hm? I'd wager the men butcher your name, too, don't they? Say, I'm a bit embarrassed, but I've let your name slip. What did you say it was again?"
For a moment, I remained tight-lipped, resigned to letting him continue talking, but I glanced over to find his blue eyes fixed on me, scrutinizing my weary features. He looked absolutely scandalized as he added, "Well, pardon me for forgetting, but in my trade, you meet so many--"
"Alcarien Laure," I told him with a forced smile. I had never told him my name, in truth, and that was what I found so ridiculous. Had he truly not noticed that he had not asked my name in the good hour we had already spent? All the things he had said, all the nonsense, yet never asked my name? Still, I could not be so harsh with him, for the name I gave him was not my birth name. Alcarien Laure was my new name, suitable for my new life of solace and solitary study.
"Alcarien Laure!" he repeated with a hoot, "That's an Altmer name if ever I've heard one! I'll call you Cari, if you haven't a mind! I'm quite a mer for nicknames, you see. Yes, indeed. Makes a fellow more comfortable, you see. Now, remember, you can call me just anything you like, Cari! I get it all! Bil, Billy, Landis, Bundle, Bit Bundle, Bitty, Billy Bundle is a personal favorite of mine, but really, whatever you like."
Quite fatigued by all of this, I simply smiled, nodding my understanding. Glancing over my shoulder, I looked in the bed of the carriage to avoid looking at Bilandis any longer. The back was littered with all manner of containers. Among the chests and trunks was the dog from earlier, Meeko. He seemed quite exhausted, probably having worn himself out after terrorizing me earlier, and he merely raised his eyes to look back at me, too lazy to lift his head. I had to admit, it seemed silly of me to have been frightened of the thing, as he appeared to be completely harmless.
Bilandis caught my gaze and laughed aloud, a melodic sound, really. "I hope my business partner didn't startle you too much, Cari. He comes on a bit strong, I admit, but like as not, he was coming to lick ya, not bite ya. Brought him on for bandit protection, but he's just a big softy, he is!"
I chuckled, though I was not quite over my embarrassment in the slightest. "Brought him on?" I asked, realizing the weird phrasing. "Where did you find him?"
"Abandoned, the poor thing. Found him alone in the woods. Caught sight of me and ran off, he did. Being a lover of animals, I quite naturally stopped and followed him. Led me right to a small cabin, only a stone's throw from the road. There occupant was rather dead, you see, and Meeko here was just-a watchin' over his body, whimpering and whining quite pitiably! He seemed pleased when I suggested burying his dead master, and he didn't seem opposed when I took what I could salvage from the shack, and the two of us departed as partners."
As I listened, I observed a change in BIlandis. There was a certain shift in his voice, a lessening of the bombastic quality, though he was still rather theatrical. Still, there was an honesty there, and his eyes softened as they turned back to regard his friend. Yes, I mused, perhaps there was a bit of a real person somewhere inside that strange man.
I doubted I would ever get to find that bit of realness, though, for before long, we were rolling up to stone walls and a wooden gate. Imperial men, not at all distinguishable from those I had seen so often in Cyrodiil, walked along a raised platform, and they sighted us long before we came to a halt before their post.
The guards nodded down at us and turned around, hollering, "It's Bittybundle! Open her up!"
Without further interrogation, we continued on into the city.
"Helgen," Bilandis announced, "And the sun is only just peeking her face out from behind those trees! Didn't I tell you, Cari, didn't I tell you Ol' Billy Bundle would have you here by sunup? Yes, m'lord, yes, indeed. Helgen! I'll just set up shop, as per usual, and I sadly suppose it'll be about time for us to part ways."
Bilandis brought us to a halt and clasped his hands together. Before he could say a blessed thing, I pulled out my purse and took quite a big fraction of my gold out and placed it into his tiny hands.
"Thank you, Bilandis. I will not soon forget your kindness. Could you do me just another kindness and point me in the direction of the town inn?"
In a flash, my gold was in his pocket and Bilandis was shaking one of my hands and extending his other to point a child-sized finger. "Just over there's the inn. It's been a great pleasure, Cari, a pleasure, indeed. I wish you well, my friend, and pray that our paths will cross again! If you have need of anything, I'll be situated here in Helgen for a while longer! Oh, and don't you think about forgetting to ask for some of Vilod's special mead! Juniper berries, see? Delicious!"
With a final word of farewell and another firm handshake, I hopped down from my seat, tightened my bag around my shoulders, and headed off to find the inn and hopefully a bath.
