I'm not in Windhelm five seconds before I start wondering why I came back. Didn't I hate this place? It's cold and full of mean people. Yes, yes, I am seriously long overdue getting back to Orthus, but couldn't he have come to meet me? My carriage fees are stacking up and my butt hurts again.
I swallow my indignation, though, and meet him inside, where I'm surprised to learn that this whole operation against the pirates is a joint venture with the Imperials.
She briefs us on what's going on. Now that we know where the pirates are, thanks to a fistfight a certain lizard started in Dawnstar, we're going to sail out to meet 'em. And kill 'em. I'm excited--killing humans is less emotionally conflicting than slaying what I strongly suspect was a distant cousin of my grandmother.
As it turns out, the pirates have low standards for their secret hideout: Japhet's Folly.
But it is secret--I give them that. Haldyn, some mage who's working with them has wrapped the island in mist, making it immune to a frontal assault. So the Imperial officer commanding the ship orders me to begin the frontal assault.
I'm a bit dubious as to how I'm supposed to get inside this hideout to kill this mage, much less get across these loosely connected ice floes. What do they expect me to do, swi--
Yes.
It's not such a bad idea, though. I have gills, after all, so a stealthy approach is a snap, despite the crushing depths and cold.
It doesn't do me much good, though, since the first responders on the island are a tough bunch. They very nearly kill me, but I manage to scrape by.
I'm dismayed to discover that the first mage I killed, despite his incredible power, was not Haldyn himself. I suppose it couldn't have been that easy.
It only gets harder, though--I slash and snipe my way through the front gate, muttering bitter invectives against anybody and everybody: the pirates, the weather, Windhelm, the weather... And while the first gate was tricky to pick, the second one is barred shut outright. Having killed everybody in sight, I wonder aimlessly for half an hour, trying to find a way into the island fortress.
Finally, a cave presents itself. Some mudcrabs welcome me with open arms. I repay the gesture.
Things get a bit more straightforward from there, as the guards inside the fortress aren't nearly as battle-hardened as the ones outside. Frankly, I'm not surprised--they weren't the ones crazy enough to get posted outside in a perpetual blizzard. Then again, given how the past four days have gone, I'm beginning to think everybody around me is crazy.
My temper is growing short when I stumble across Haldyn on the top floor, but he makes it easy on me by dying much more easily than I expected. Disgruntled, I unbar the stubborn gate from earlier and slouch back outside, only to be nearly obliterated.
Looks like the Imperials have started their attack.
I don't see the point, though--I already killed everybody, and without torching an unprecedented amount of good timber. I regroup with the Legion and we head back to Windhelm. I need to clear my head of the crazy and my sinuses of the ashes, so I head out immediately after my payment.
I don't actually know where I'm headed, so I forgo the carriage and walk with a group of Khajit while I think things over.
I take stock of my life. I'm torn. Working for Orthus was fun before it landed me alone in a pirate stronghold at the end of the world. I kind of enjoy life as a spy and/or mercenary, but I can't help but feel a bit used. I want something to believe in, so I think about what I actually want in life. So far, it seems my greatest fulfillment has come from killing Noses. If every dockworker at Windhelm is as emotionally dysfunctional as I am, those Noses are screwed.
Just then, I remember something Hadvar said at brunch yesterday and consider heading to Solitude. I could join the Imperials--hopefully an organization big enough to call itself "Legion" won't behave entirely like those chuckleheads who stranded me on a glorified iceberg. I'm no fan of my king, Ulfric, and I've already ticked off at least one of his holds, so...
But as usual, I'm lost within the hour. I approach a signpost for help.
Whiterun, Windhelm, Dawnstar...no Solitude. I thought Solitude was somewhere west of Windhelm, but the way I'm going, I'll probably end up back at Japhet's Folly. Instead, I choose one of the two cities on the list that I haven't been to, Riften, and head down that way.
But I was deceived; Whiterun soon looms on the horizon, and I feel the tug of excessive hero-worship once more. I sigh with resignation and keep on my way, figuring I might as well do some trading as long as I'm around.
On the way, I meet a man so crazy he makes the assault on Japhet's Folly look well-planned. I sidle up to a nearby guard to recommend the lunatic be committed, but the guard suddenly gives me the stink eye instead.
Turns out he's affiliated with Dawnstar, and he tries to pick me up for petty thievery--the fine is small, but I'm carrying a heck of a lot of stolen stuff he doesn't know about. I convince him I'm not worth his time, but I also don't press the issue about the crazy guy. I keep moving.
In Whiterun, I tidy up, visiting a few of the merchants before resting a moment on a bench. Some woman starts talking about the tree, but I'm too tired to really pay attention. Her helpful dispensation of knowledge gives me an idea, though--I head up to Dragonsreach. Maybe the wizard can tell me what happened with the dragon yesterday, since he knows so much about them.
The Jarl is actually the most helpful--he's also highly appreciative of my efforts. Had I known I was actually going to be paid for saving the city, I wouldn't have scampered back to Windhelm so fast. He tells me I'm some sort of descendant of the dragons or what-not. I'm thinking, "Well, duh, I'm a lizard," but I get the impression it's bigger than that.
It doesn't change my mind, though. I'm still going to Riften.
But first I indulge a recurring day-dream.
"Soon, Nose," I whisper loudly, hoping he'll hear me. "Soon."
He keeps yelling, of course. I almost loose the arrow. Almost.
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