It Isn't Personal...Honest
Whether or not you feel that the critique you've received is accurate, the critique is actually about the build. It isn't an attack on you personally, and it doesn't at all reflect your value as a human being. It also doesn't reflect your ability or lack of ability to produce great work in the future. It stings, I know. But take a deep breath, and try to keep some perspective on it. In a year, you might not even remember this moment.
Try to Hear the Actual Message, Even if the Tone is Terrible
Lots of folks have trouble delivering their useful and accurate criticisms in a constructive or understanding way. Try to separate the tone and emotion from the message. Comments about elements you need to include in your build, polishing the presentation, improving the photos, fonts, grammar, etc. are helpful information to make your build succeed, even if they're delivered in a sharp or grumpy manner. Keep the useful bits, throw the negative tone away, and let it blow over you.
Keep It Civil and Polite
"Thanks for your feedback" is a great line to use. "I thought about a,b,c, but I decided to go with e, f, g instead. Thanks for the suggestion!" is great if you disagree with someone's comments. Answering critique with rudeness is a recipe for disaster. If you think somebody is being a jerk, the best solution is really to take a time out and come back to it later. If they *are* being a jerk, odds are good that a moderator will speak up, or someone with a different opinion will come and make a more reasonable comment. The person will eventually go away - as long as you don't argue with them. Insults or defensive biting comments only serve to escalate the situation, to aggravate you, and everybody else. Politeness earns the respect of everyone in the community.
Don't Close Your Comments, Rage-Delete Your Build, or Delete Your Blog Account
It might be tempting to keep the shower of negative words from coming. But truly, the best thing is to shut your browser and come back to it tomorrow when you're calmer. Go do something completely different, and try not to obsess over what folks have said. When you return, try to sort out the useful comments from the not-so-useful ones, and implement them to help your build succeed. It makes you look mature, reasonable, and responsible.
Don't Give Up!
Even if the feedback you get is uniformly negative, that doesn't make the experience a failure. It's a learning experience. Take your newfound hard-acquired wisdom and work on a new build - once you've had a few days to stop squirming in anger. Most of the time, criticism is actually given constructively - it will help you make a better build. If you keep at it, your chances for success improve with each new attempt.
We're glad to have you here creating and sharing your work!
For more in the Constructive Criticism series see:
It Isn't Personal...Honest
Whether or not you feel that the critique you've received is accurate, the critique is actually about the build. It isn't an attack on you personally, and it doesn't at all reflect your value as a human being. It also doesn't reflect your ability or lack of ability to produce great work in the future. It stings, I know. But take a deep breath, and try to keep some perspective on it. In a year, you might not even remember this moment.
Try to Hear the Actual Message, Even if the Tone is Terrible
Lots of folks have trouble delivering their useful and accurate criticisms in a constructive or understanding way. Try to separate the tone and emotion from the message. Comments about elements you need to include in your build, polishing the presentation, improving the photos, fonts, grammar, etc. are helpful information to make your build succeed, even if they're delivered in a sharp or grumpy manner. Keep the useful bits, throw the negative tone away, and let it blow over you.
Keep It Civil and Polite
"Thanks for your feedback" is a great line to use. "I thought about a,b,c, but I decided to go with e, f, g instead. Thanks for the suggestion!" is great if you disagree with someone's comments. Answering critique with rudeness is a recipe for disaster. If you think somebody is being a jerk, the best solution is really to take a time out and come back to it later. If they *are* being a jerk, odds are good that a moderator will speak up, or someone with a different opinion will come and make a more reasonable comment. The person will eventually go away - as long as you don't argue with them. Insults or defensive biting comments only serve to escalate the situation, to aggravate you, and everybody else. Politeness earns the respect of everyone in the community.
Don't Close Your Comments, Rage-Delete Your Build, or Delete Your Blog Account
It might be tempting to keep the shower of negative words from coming. But truly, the best thing is to shut your browser and come back to it tomorrow when you're calmer. Go do something completely different, and try not to obsess over what folks have said. When you return, try to sort out the useful comments from the not-so-useful ones, and implement them to help your build succeed. It makes you look mature, reasonable, and responsible.
Don't Give Up!
Even if the feedback you get is uniformly negative, that doesn't make the experience a failure. It's a learning experience. Take your newfound hard-acquired wisdom and work on a new build - once you've had a few days to stop squirming in anger. Most of the time, criticism is actually given constructively - it will help you make a better build. If you keep at it, your chances for success improve with each new attempt.
We're glad to have you here creating and sharing your work!
For more in the Constructive Criticism series see:
I have to say the 'constructive criticism' crew on this site from my experience has been extremely rude and borderline trolls and really need to take a lesson on using proper tone and constructive criticism when posting their opinions. Some of the nighttime casuals 'criticism' has been so bad its pushed me to using a different site for posting and commenting on people's builds and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.
I have to say the 'constructive criticism' crew on this site from my experience has been extremely rude and borderline trolls and really need to take a lesson on using proper tone and constructive criticism when posting their opinions. Some of the nighttime casuals 'criticism' has been so bad its pushed me to using a different site for posting and commenting on people's builds and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way.
Perhaps the single best use of this article, then, is to drop it as a link in the comments of a builder that you think is being too sensitive. End of argument. :)
Perhaps the single best use of this article, then, is to drop it as a link in the comments of a builder that you think is being too sensitive. End of argument. :)
Overall I don't agree Tyler, some people can be a little harsh (they get there comments removed if I'm here).
90% of the time people are just trying to help you improve your work and it often falls on deaf ears...
For example, someone has pointed out on your 'Dancer' build that you can't 'like' your own builds, have you removed the 'like'? No.
This is just going to paint a target on your back because you aren't following the group guidelines.
Overall I don't agree Tyler, some people can be a little harsh (they get there comments removed if I'm here).
90% of the time people are just trying to help you improve your work and it often falls on deaf ears...
For example, someone has pointed out on your 'Dancer' build that you can't 'like' your own builds, have you removed the 'like'? No.
This is just going to paint a target on your back because you aren't following the group guidelines.
Liking what you've done here Drifa.
Is it possible to turn this into a one page article? Maybe cherry-pick the highlights? It would have more impact and it is all the same subject...
Liking what you've done here Drifa.
Is it possible to turn this into a one page article? Maybe cherry-pick the highlights? It would have more impact and it is all the same subject...
I did consider that possibility. But I do think it will reach its intended audience more in this format. Human beings are prone to assuming that suggestions for improvement are intended only for the other party, and not themselves; having specific examples makes things a bit clearer, I think.
I did consider that possibility. But I do think it will reach its intended audience more in this format. Human beings are prone to assuming that suggestions for improvement are intended only for the other party, and not themselves; having specific examples makes things a bit clearer, I think.