Dragonborn's the name, and chillaxity is the game :D
God that sounded awful...I'm never doing that again, sorry Zal, just woke up from a weird nap (the fact that it happened is the weird bit) but I'll see what I can do about commenting/lightly critiquing. I'm a bit of a lengthy commenter, I'll say a lot and it'll be about improving your build but it will very rarely be a negative thing.
So let's start with the quick stuff. First, gotta change the title to Character Build: Dominator (or The Dominator if you think that sounds better). Basically we like to keep everything organized, and that kinda starts off with just instantly letting everyone know that this is a build. You need to have a full list of perks. For this one I like to suggest looking at it as if a new player had stumbled onto the site and saw your build as the first one and wanted to give it a shot. Listing the full list of perks (rather than 'all of the left side') is just an easier way to kind of establish exactly what the character needs, while also giving us a bit more of an idea on where he's focused instantly (so I can see, oh wow, that's a lot of 'sneak' perks and only a few 'alchemy' perks, so Sneak is obviously more important than Alchemy).
My next notes are going to be presentation notes. And just to let you know, this is kind of my main area of 'expertise' or the one that I'm the most anal about :P So I have a lot to say, but I can boil it down to. Get some pictures, change the text size so it shows up smaller and maybe adjust a few other small things. So here's just a quick part of your build that I've edited the presentation for.
----------------------------------------------------------
Backstory
It was a late shadowy night and the Dominator was out hunting in the lands of Solstheim. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye he saw an ash hopper, small locust looking beasts. He drew his longbow and shot an arrow he fletched himself at the beast. It penetrated the eye and killed it instantly. He grabbed the meat and dragged it back to his camp shoving a metal stake through its head and roasted it over a small fire. He longed to be in the lands of Skyrim killing the vast amount of elk and sabre cats. He sliced off the legs and bit into the dry flesh.
After a while, the Dominator walked back to his village and looked around at the plaza. There was a small sign pinned to the always empty notice board. Passage to Cyrodil 10 Septims. Leaving tonight Sundown. Ten septims was all he had but to get to the mainland would be a dream come true. After grabbing his money he sprinted to the docks just as the crew were coming down to untie the ropes. "Wait," he called.He passed over his gold and boarded the ship.
When he arrived he immediately left the city and started towards Skyrim. Upon reaching the border he was captured and carted off from Helgen.
Race and Statistics
Race: I would pick a Dunmer (Dark Elf) as with you being a vampire it cancels out all weaknesses to fire and it fits in nicely with the backstory. Or a Breton would also be good for the magic resistance but any would be okay.
Stat Spread: 0 Magicka, 1 Health and 2 Stamina
Standing Stone:
Shouts and Powers:
Skills & Perks
Archery: Your main way to decimate your opponents where they stand.
Perks: All ranks of Overdraw getting them at every opportunity. Eagle Eye is your next priority as zooming in is very useful for sneak attacks. Next you should get both ranks of Steady Hand to slow down time so you get a better shot. Next Critical Shot but only one rank as we are mainly using it to get to Hunter's Discipline which will help you get you sunhallowed and Bloodcursed arrows back as they are tedious to make. You can get the rest in whichever order you want depending on what playstyle you want.
Sneak: To get in position to kill someone before they know you're there.
Perks: All ranks of sneak then go up the left branch to Deadly Aim then you don't have to get any more perks unless you want to play a stealth archer.
Light Armour: To protect yourself when you're exposed and to defend against dragons.
Perks: Get all perks in this tree although this isn't a priority.
----------------------------------------------------------
So the main things I've done are grab that image (but it's just a temporary thing that I randomly came across in 10 seconds) and change the font layout a little bit. So having images serves two purposes, it allows you to break up your text (which is especially useful for people like me that just talk too much :P) which is a great thing, but in my opinion the better thing that it does is allow you to show off the 'image' of your character. Just looking at that image would automatically give you an idea that the character is an Archer, and a bit of the Auriel's Bow thing. It's a quick thing, it might not even be a conscious thought that someone has, but it's a really good use of pictures/artwork.
The text is a little more complicated to explain because there are so many parts to it. First I love the fact that you've bolded the actual perks. What I'd recommend doing when you expand your perk list to include everything the build takes, is to still have a similar section that talks about the main perks that you use. Maybe include it in the main section for the skills (so give the basic uses of Archery, and then delve into some of the most useful perks). I've also kind of reduced the Races Section a teeny bit, and just used the whole "Race: Dunmer..." so it's a quicker way to introduce the section, and also directly draw people's eyes to it. Now, the final thing about the text size is...I've been having trouble explaining it, but I find it a lot easier to read smaller text (though obviously not too small), the larger stuff just doesn't lend itself very well to paragraphs of writing, or even explaining things. I dunno, I can't explain that one in a way that isn't essentially 'personal preference' but maybe seeing it for yourself will help you decide.
The actual build is pretty good. You've got just about everything that you'll need for a build, and I really enjoyed the Gameplay Section and Backstory. The way you explained how the character fights from both Stealth and regular Combat is just really great to see, and it's an excellent decision. That and the Gameplay is just rather interesting, the idea of a Stealthy Archer that uses Auriel's Bow is just kind of badass to me. I would like to see a bit more of the Gameplay, maybe expanding on how you fight Dragons, and Vampires (since they're such a huge part of the build). The Backstory was just an interesting explanation of the character, and was rather well written.
Heh, really my only complaint about the build is that I'd love more of it, so that's hardly a bad thing :D
So yeah, a huge message I know, but I hope some of it helps. if you'd like any more/any specific help then just let me know man, absolutely love helping people out with Presentation and just their builds in general. I'm going to drop a like here, because as I said, love the build itself, and I hope to see you work on it a bit :D
Dragonborn's the name, and chillaxity is the game :D
God that sounded awful...I'm never doing that again, sorry Zal, just woke up from a weird nap (the fact that it happened is the weird bit) but I'll see what I can do about commenting/lightly critiquing. I'm a bit of a lengthy commenter, I'll say a lot and it'll be about improving your build but it will very rarely be a negative thing.
So let's start with the quick stuff. First, gotta change the title to Character Build: Dominator (or The Dominator if you think that sounds better). Basically we like to keep everything organized, and that kinda starts off with just instantly letting everyone know that this is a build. You need to have a full list of perks. For this one I like to suggest looking at it as if a new player had stumbled onto the site and saw your build as the first one and wanted to give it a shot. Listing the full list of perks (rather than 'all of the left side') is just an easier way to kind of establish exactly what the character needs, while also giving us a bit more of an idea on where he's focused instantly (so I can see, oh wow, that's a lot of 'sneak' perks and only a few 'alchemy' perks, so Sneak is obviously more important than Alchemy).
My next notes are going to be presentation notes. And just to let you know, this is kind of my main area of 'expertise' or the one that I'm the most anal about :P So I have a lot to say, but I can boil it down to. Get some pictures, change the text size so it shows up smaller and maybe adjust a few other small things. So here's just a quick part of your build that I've edited the presentation for.
----------------------------------------------------------
Backstory
It was a late shadowy night and the Dominator was out hunting in the lands of Solstheim. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye he saw an ash hopper, small locust looking beasts. He drew his longbow and shot an arrow he fletched himself at the beast. It penetrated the eye and killed it instantly. He grabbed the meat and dragged it back to his camp shoving a metal stake through its head and roasted it over a small fire. He longed to be in the lands of Skyrim killing the vast amount of elk and sabre cats. He sliced off the legs and bit into the dry flesh.
After a while, the Dominator walked back to his village and looked around at the plaza. There was a small sign pinned to the always empty notice board. Passage to Cyrodil 10 Septims. Leaving tonight Sundown. Ten septims was all he had but to get to the mainland would be a dream come true. After grabbing his money he sprinted to the docks just as the crew were coming down to untie the ropes. "Wait," he called.He passed over his gold and boarded the ship.
When he arrived he immediately left the city and started towards Skyrim. Upon reaching the border he was captured and carted off from Helgen.
Race and Statistics
Race: I would pick a Dunmer (Dark Elf) as with you being a vampire it cancels out all weaknesses to fire and it fits in nicely with the backstory. Or a Breton would also be good for the magic resistance but any would be okay.
Stat Spread: 0 Magicka, 1 Health and 2 Stamina
Standing Stone:
Shouts and Powers:
Skills & Perks
Archery: Your main way to decimate your opponents where they stand.
Perks: All ranks of Overdraw getting them at every opportunity. Eagle Eye is your next priority as zooming in is very useful for sneak attacks. Next you should get both ranks of Steady Hand to slow down time so you get a better shot. Next Critical Shot but only one rank as we are mainly using it to get to Hunter's Discipline which will help you get you sunhallowed and Bloodcursed arrows back as they are tedious to make. You can get the rest in whichever order you want depending on what playstyle you want.
Sneak: To get in position to kill someone before they know you're there.
Perks: All ranks of sneak then go up the left branch to Deadly Aim then you don't have to get any more perks unless you want to play a stealth archer.
Light Armour: To protect yourself when you're exposed and to defend against dragons.
Perks: Get all perks in this tree although this isn't a priority.
----------------------------------------------------------
So the main things I've done are grab that image (but it's just a temporary thing that I randomly came across in 10 seconds) and change the font layout a little bit. So having images serves two purposes, it allows you to break up your text (which is especially useful for people like me that just talk too much :P) which is a great thing, but in my opinion the better thing that it does is allow you to show off the 'image' of your character. Just looking at that image would automatically give you an idea that the character is an Archer, and a bit of the Auriel's Bow thing. It's a quick thing, it might not even be a conscious thought that someone has, but it's a really good use of pictures/artwork.
The text is a little more complicated to explain because there are so many parts to it. First I love the fact that you've bolded the actual perks. What I'd recommend doing when you expand your perk list to include everything the build takes, is to still have a similar section that talks about the main perks that you use. Maybe include it in the main section for the skills (so give the basic uses of Archery, and then delve into some of the most useful perks). I've also kind of reduced the Races Section a teeny bit, and just used the whole "Race: Dunmer..." so it's a quicker way to introduce the section, and also directly draw people's eyes to it. Now, the final thing about the text size is...I've been having trouble explaining it, but I find it a lot easier to read smaller text (though obviously not too small), the larger stuff just doesn't lend itself very well to paragraphs of writing, or even explaining things. I dunno, I can't explain that one in a way that isn't essentially 'personal preference' but maybe seeing it for yourself will help you decide.
The actual build is pretty good. You've got just about everything that you'll need for a build, and I really enjoyed the Gameplay Section and Backstory. The way you explained how the character fights from both Stealth and regular Combat is just really great to see, and it's an excellent decision. That and the Gameplay is just rather interesting, the idea of a Stealthy Archer that uses Auriel's Bow is just kind of badass to me. I would like to see a bit more of the Gameplay, maybe expanding on how you fight Dragons, and Vampires (since they're such a huge part of the build). The Backstory was just an interesting explanation of the character, and was rather well written.
Heh, really my only complaint about the build is that I'd love more of it, so that's hardly a bad thing :D
So yeah, a huge message I know, but I hope some of it helps. if you'd like any more/any specific help then just let me know man, absolutely love helping people out with Presentation and just their builds in general. I'm going to drop a like here, because as I said, love the build itself, and I hope to see you work on it a bit :D
