Rush For Revenge-Prelude

  • *I'm really posting this just to see what you guys/gals think of it, and if I should continue with this

     

       I remember that day, the 22nd of Sun’s Height, 4 Era 198; the day when I lost everything. I thought it just a normal day on the Copperwing Estate, with a good harvest, sun, and sea. I believed nothing could go wrong; after all, nothing bad happened in my other 19 years of life, except for a few bad harvests, or the occasional blizzard. I was just helping with the harvest, although that was against the whims of my mother; father didn’t really think of it too much. But then I heard heavy footsteps, not those of an unorganized rout, but that of a small, organized attack. Over the nearest ridge they came, a small troop of soldiers, all clad in steel, be it swords, axes, maces, or what have you. I ran to the estate shouting a warning as the nearest soldiers, all saddled on their horses, raised their spears, coated them with lit linen, and then threw them, straight towards the estate, my home. I looked for my parents, likely in their chambers, when the fire started. I bolted to their chambers, unlatched the doors, and when I looked inside, I saw a sight that was seared into my mind; both my parents’ throats were silt and on the wall above them were the words “Think On Your Sins”. The estate started to collapse under the heat and pressure, for there was no way to snuff out the fire; the air was too dry for that. I rushed to my own chamber to retrieve my heirlooms, which were now rightfully mine. I threw open the wardrobe in which they were kept: normal imperial armor, and 3 weapons: a sword, bow, and a dagger, all of elven quality. I forced them all on my form and rushed out the tunnel my paranoid grandfather built; there’s irony in that, we all made play of him for that tunnel’s making, and look what happened. I escaped from the troop of soldiers by sneaking into the forest without a second glance at the blazing inferno that used to be my home.

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       I ran south, to Wayrest, where I whimpered my story to all who were willing to give up part of their time, but it was all in vain. I never could get help to find and destroy that battalion, but I found a single hint, their base may be in Skyrim. After hearing that, I decided to take up arms on my own. I went back to my old home, now only a smoldering pile of ash, and found that the old rowboat my father used for fishing as a kid was still standing. I pushed it into the sea, hopped aboard, and rowed my way to the nearest dock on the Skyrim side of the border, a remote dock standing and the far northwestern corner. I jumped out of the boat, and started my quest for revenge, in the desolate wasteland of Skyrim.

     

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                 I don’t know who you are, or why you did this, but to the man who burned down my life, I will do the same to you.

                                                                                              Exiled Son,

                                                                                                    Matthias Copperwing

     

     

Comments

3 Comments
  • Nathan Ward
    Nathan Ward   ·  April 3, 2014
    Thanks for the advice Okan. I was never that good at writing (I could never get my thoughts down on paper), but I'll revise the story, and see if I can add more life to it. I will try to make it longer, and add more flare to it.
  • Okan-Zeeus
    Okan-Zeeus   ·  April 1, 2014
    This isn't bad... But its not particularly good. As Soneca said, this is short. There's no time to get invested in your story because everything happens so fast. What you do have is crammed with uninteresting exposition and lists that try to pass as descr...  more
  • Soneca the Exiled
    Soneca the Exiled   ·  April 1, 2014
    Too short and no paragraphs, never a good first impression