Editor's note: The following fragment comes from a larger collection of journal entries found among the personal effects of a Paladin of Alessia. They were in a pack next to his body in a remote cave in the far north of Skyrim. Oddly, the cold had perfectly preserved his body while the corpses of the Frost Trolls he died fighting had long since decayed. Odder still was the fresh Dragon's Tongue flower laid upon his armoured chest as if recently plucked and placed.
Over the course of my life of service to the most divine and blessed Saint Alessia I have been called upon to answer many questions about the nature of the Aedra. I use the Elvish word throughout this entry but that isn't exact, rather I mean it as a substitute for the word "god(s)" because I simply like the sound of it. As the sun sets over the Abecean and I reflect on the beauty of dusk, feel the bittersweet sting of homesickness and the creeping gloom which comes over me as the shadows lengthen, I pen these words to order my thoughts before finally getting some rest.
The Aedra have been on my mind recently, although that is hardly a surprise considering I am a knight sworn to Her holy service. Yet the truth of it is I haven't really had much use for the gods and find them cold and remote. Al-Esh I understand and feel with all my heart and soul: Mother of Dragons, Queen of Cyrod, The Paravant - the First - she resonates in me like no other and that which she stood for and achieved is something I will gladly die for. For it is freedom, which is maybe another name for Shezarr. When I pray for guidance and strength it is to her I petition in the hopes she will carry my message to the one best suited. And she has never yet failed me, despite the many times I have failed her.
However the pantheon she created, that perfect synergy of mersish and mannish deities fused together to form the elegant and beautiful Eight Divines has always to me seemed far out of reach. Despite addressing the subject with residents of towns and villages I have passed through who have come to me for guidance and healing, I have never really felt the truth of my words. That was until a few nights ago when I drifted off to sleep next to a warm fire near Stendarr's Beacon. I had a dream, or maybe it was a vision... I cannot tell for sure, it may simply have been images conjured by a psyche on the verge of collapse and a body pushed far beyond its capabilities. It is a wonder I survived that day.
In any case, as my eyes closed and the heat of the fire washed over me, I saw something in the flames. Lights and colour like the beauty of the dawn rose up from the embers and formed into the figure of a woman. In one hand she held the broken Jewel of the Covenant and in the other an Atmoran horn. She was naked but I felt no shame as her long dark hair hung over her shoulders and obscured her breasts, while the dancing flames disguised her most intimate. I noted a jagged scar on her chest and saw her ankles and wrists were encased in Ayleid shackles.
I felt a soothing peace wash over me and the darkness in my mind parted before her radiance. She smiled, then, a smile I will hold close and treasure until the end of days. 'You rest next to Stendarr's shrine, Sir Knight. Intone these words when the first rays of the sun wake you from slumber: "Come to me, Stendarr, for without you, I might be deaf to the manswarm murmurings of thy people, and forgetting their need for comfort and wisdom, I might indulge myself in vain scribbling." Never forget that Stuhn, the first to show mercy on the bloody snowfields of ancient battle, is close to my heart too. He is the Bear and the Whale, like his brother and is one part of a holy trinity, the Threefold Son. When you see Magnus rise in the east, picture Arkay's eight-pointed symbol of the Wheel, think on the solar fire his righteous now use in their mis-guided persecutions in his name. Justice, mercy and light are his domain along with all the implications accompanying those words. Each are connected."
With that said and with my nod of acknowledgement the fire dimmed and the light of dawn returned to the coals. I slept then like I have not slept since the days of my long lost youth.
Image
Comments