Lucy's Journal: Dump out the Champagne; Cheap Whiskey for All My Friends!

• Posted by Piper Jo February 10, 2012 - 761 views

  Is it courage or cowardice to leave someone on the altar?

  On the one hand, I was so afraid of what I had to do that I might just have gone through with it.  But I think I vote for cowardice, for if I was meant to be with her, I would have gone through with it, and if not, then I should have told her long before it came to a ceremony.  There just never seemed to be a right moment.

  So Camilla won't speak to me anymore.  Lucan is fine.  In fact, after I said what I said, and Camilla had turned her back and marched out without a word, and the guests had all followed her, and the preacher had kicked me out of the temple, Lucan leaned in close to me so no one else could hear, and he said, "You and I are the only smart ones here."  Lucan assured me I was always welcome in the Riverwood Trader, but I doubt I will ever return there.  In fact, the idea of returning to Riverwood at all now gives me a panic attack.

  I'm glad not to have married Camilla, of course.  The thing that makes me feel shame is that I ever led her on in the first place.  It was cruel and stupid, and born of loneliness.

  And now I'm back in Riften.  Guess I've got a few chores to finish up here.