29th of Heartfire, 4E 201
I haven’t written a journal entry in a long time, and a lot has happened, so I’m just going to write quickly and hit the low points.
I was in Whiterun on the job Maven Black-brier had given me. I didn’t like the job, and I liked it even less after I met my Whiterun contact, Mallus. What a nasty piece of work that guy was, plotting to kill his boss and take over the Honningbrew Meadery as Maven's henchman. I had just about decided to tip off Maven’s target until I met the guy. He made Mallus look like a sympathetic victim, so I went ahead and did the job. It went smoothly, despite the fact that Mallus didn’t tell me everything I needed to know.
Afterwards I confronted him about it, and the little skeever just stood there in the Honningbrew tasting room and gloated. I just couldn’t take it, so I started pounding the crap on him. He pulled a knife, so I conjured a flame atronach, and felt better as it whipped him with fireballs. I left the building, but I guess my atronach buggered off early, because Mallus followed me with his dagger, so I conjured another.
To my confusion, it started throwing its fireballs down the lane, ignoring Mallus entirely. I followed the path of the fireballs and realized it was attacking a Whiterun guard! Lydia drew her sword, but before she could jump into the fray, I grabbed her and fled into the wilderness. This must be why my Ma told me never to mess with conjuration.
I figured I’d do a couple of odd jobs in the wilderness, let the heat die down and then head back into town, but when I tried that, I was immediately arrested and told I could either go to jail or pay a $1115 fine! I actually had the money; I could have paid, but before this month, I have never had that much money in my life. Plus, I couldn’t remember anymore how much of my stuff was stolen, so I refused, and they threw me in jail.
It didn’t take me long to break out of my cell, break into the evidence locker, and escape. That’s about as far as I got, though. I took an invisibility potion, and tried to sneak across town in broad daylight, but the potion wore off while I was still passing the Gildergreen, and the guards were immediately on top of me. I ran for it, and ducked into the Bannered Mare. The guards followed me in and cornered me.
This is all wrong, I realized. This is the one city in the nation where I was respected and welcome, and now I was throwing it away. I raised my hands and told them I’d pay the fine, much as the thought of that much money slipping away made me ill.
The worst thing is, I lost my dog. I can’t find him anywhere. I checked Dragonsreach, the place where I was arrested, the shack where I first found him, and I retraced my steps all through the wilderness. I kept picturing him, wandering through the woods, whimpering and lonely.
I was almost back to Riften to tell Maven that I’d done my last job for her when a dragon gyred overhead. I ducked under cover and drew my bow. Before I could get a bead on him, he started drawing away. I stepped out in the open, and shouted at him, “I’m right here, you fat, flying snake! Come back and fight!” He ignored me, so I ran after him, “I WANT MY LIFE BACK!”
I followed him up into the hills southeast of Riften and confronted him where he landed. Lydia and I took him down. This was the first dragon that we had fought without the help of any soldiers. Only when he was dead, and his soul had flowed into me did I look around at where we were.
There was a dragon word wall, very similar to the one in Bleak Falls Barrow. I read through it, but could make sense of only one word, fear. I could see the use that word as a shout though. Seemed like it might make those long hiking trips through the wilderness a bit less hazardous—keep the wolves off, at least.
I turned away from the wall, to find Lydia watching at me with a look of fierce satisfaction. “Do you know where we are?” she asked.
“No idea,” I replied.
“Lost Tongue Overlook,” she informed me.
I snorted. “I suppose this is what you’ve been waiting for?”
“Of course it is,” she replied. “Can’t you see this is what you’re meant to do?”
“I’m not meant to do anything,” I told her, but without so much conviction as I had had a few short weeks ago.
“You said it yourself,” she pointed out. “You want your life back, but this is your life, Luciana. You’ve been linked to this since before you were born. The only way to get back on track is to accept your destiny and see it through.”
I swear that’s the longest speech I’ve ever heard Lydia give. I can’t see she’s wrong. If I have to kill every dragon in Skryim to get my life back, then it’s worth it.
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