Shinbira: Journal of a Survivor, Chapter 29

  • Loredas, Last Seed 22nd: Whiterun 

    The wind is fresh on our faces as Faendal and I continue our slow walk back to Whiterun. 

    Having narrowly avoided another 'archery training incident' we walk as quietly as the night is still, lost in our thoughts of destiny, purpose, mysticism and legend. We walk ever more slowly as our existential crisis deepens; also because we're a little drunk. 

    Suddenly, out of the clear night sky comes a sound like a thunder! But not thunder.

    "Fendal, how many hav you had?! Did I hear that?!"

    "Did I hear what, brother? What did you hear?" 

    "I didn' hear an'fing! I fought you heard thomfin' "

    "What? I heard a sound like thunder, but not like thunder. And I see no storm anywhere!"

    This Bosmer can hol' hish drink, I'll givim that

    We walk on and now the only sounds are the gentle breeze rustling through the plants of the plains and the rushing of a nearby stream.

    "Dover King."

    "What?" It's Faendal's turn to be confused.

    "Dover King! Thatsh wot th'thunder said, innit?!"

    "Dover? Who's Dover? And where is he King?! What are you talking about, Shinbira?"

    "I dnno. Ho'woulddI know?! Th'thunder said it dinnit, no'me!"

    "I think someone's put Skooma in your ale again, Shinbira."

    "What? Awright, 'Dove', then. 'Dove are King'. No thatsh shilly: 'Dovsh'. 'Dovsh are King'."

    "Doves, Shinbira? 'Doves are King'? In the kingdom of the birds now, are we? I think the only doves around here are the ones inside your head working the controls!"

    He'sh bluddy cheeky when he'sh hadda ffew, even iff he c'n shtill talk proper.

    "Hey, watshit you! Yur my shlave, you shposedta do wot I shay!"

    "Is that the way it is then, 'brother?"

    "I don' like yur tone, 'bruva'!"

    We square up to each other, think better of it, and keep walking. 

    We've nearly reached the city now, the great walls are in sight as our feet crunch along the stone path that leads us there.


    Faendal is exasperated. I think.

    "What now?!"

    " 'Varking'! 'Do varking'! Thatsh wot th'thunder said!"

    I let the wisdom of my words sink in. Faendal says nothing.

    "Whatsh 'varking' an'way, Fendal?!"

    "Haha, brother - I could think of what it might be. The Inn's still open, isn't it?"

    "Fendal, you dogg!" I laugh, punching him on the arm.

    Hee'sh def'nitly hadda few! Ffunny lil elf!

    Faendal just says; "Ow!", then "Come on, you crazy Dunmer, we'd better get back to the city."

    "A'right then, Bozzie. An' we'll do shome 'varking'!" 

    This is the funniest joke ever, and I collapse onto the ground laughing. Faendal hauls me back up to my feet and we continue walking, while I continue laughing.

    Nothing much happens before we reach the city; nothing that I remember anyway.

    I have some vague recollection of promising to find a woman for some strange looking men with bent swords who wanted to give me a lot of money, and feeling very happy about that.

    We eventually make it to the Inn. As far as I know there was no 'varking' of any kind, and I don't remember doing anything but get a room, fall on its bed and go to sleep.

    Sundas, Last Seed 23rd: Whiterun 

    I awake early. My head hurts.

    Finding Faendal, we have a good breakfast, and a little drink, then head up to Dragonsreach. 

    Jarl Balgruuf is overjoyed that I killed the dragon, with a little help of course. He rewards me handsomely, giving me an axe enchanted with a spell called 'Soul Trap', making me something called a 'Thane' and assigning me a 'Carl' - my very own Irileth!

    I meet her at the door as we leave: she's called 'Lydia'. "I am honoured, my Thane, " she tells me. "I will be here if you need me, my Thane". I like her.

    Once outside I turn to Faendal. "Well, Faendal, this is a little... overwhelming. How about we have a drink, to celebrate?" We go back to the Inn.

    There may have been all Oblivion breaking out around us as we walk back, but I don't notice. Even the mad preacher of Talos doesn't bother me.

    Once inside we settle down over an ale and try to make sense of it all.

    "Faendal," I start, "so I'm a Thane?"

    "That's right brother!" Faendal is beaming.

    "Good. What's a 'Thane'?"

    "Weren't you listening to the Jarl? He explained it all to you!"

    "Not really. I stopped when he said 'reward you handsomely' and gave me this axe, then I noticed that he didn't give me any money. I did notice Lydia though."

    "Yes: she is your personal attendant, your 'Carl', sworn to protect you and your possessions. With her life, if need be."

    "Well that's good! Jealous, are we, Faendal?" I wink at him, with a wicked smile.

    "Brother! Of course not!"

    I do believe he's embarassed!

    "And this 'Thane' thing: what's that?" I continue.

    "That means that you have a respected position within the court of the Jarl, that you have his ear, and even that guards can be persuaded to overlook any 'misdemeanours' you may happen to commit."

    "Oh!" I'm actually quite taken aback at that.

    "Yes, I thought you might like that." 

    He knows me well. That is good. Very good!

    "So what did you think about what the Jarl and his brother said about being Dragonborn," Faendal continues, sipping his wine, "and the Greybeards? When do we climb the 7000 Steps to the top of the Throat of the World to see them?"

    "What? 'Greybeards'? Who are they?"

    "You really weren't listening? Brother!" 

    "No, 'brother', I wasn't! Why don't you 'enlighten' me?"

    Feandal talks for some time, and I listen. Then he stops, finally.

    "So," I respond," they expect me to climb 7000 steps up Skyrim's tallest mountain to see a bunch of strange old hermits with grey beards who never talk but who are very good at shouting? Why in Oblivion would I want to do that?!"

    "As the Jarl said: to learn to Shout!" There's something twitching rapidly over Faendal's right eye. He looks strained.

    "Alright, Faendal, there's no need for you to shout as well! I tell you what: why don't you go up the mountain to see the old men, then you can all have a lovely time shouting at each other!

    "I've had enough of shouting, Faendal. Let's have another drink."

    Faendal sighs, long and slow. And has another drink.

    A Thane. I'm a Thane of Whiterun!

    Mother, you would be proud.

    Don't forget: 'If you like it then you oughtta put a 'click' on it'...

    And if you don't please tell me why, or how else will I get better? Also if you do!


    Table of Contents


  • Idesto
    Idesto   ·  August 23, 2015
    I'm pretty sure I have too @Exuro. Thanks for the spot: fixed. 
    Don't know how I missed this @Unhelpful: thanks :)
  • Exuro
    Exuro   ·  August 22, 2015
    I think I may have had that conversation in the beginning...
    I caught a small typo:
    And where is he King?! What are [you] talking about, Shinbira?
  • The Wing
    The Wing   ·  August 2, 2015
    Ah, poor Shinbira. I would be pretty overwhelmed too.  I love how Faendal is so patient with his drunk, oblivious buddy.
  • Idesto
    Idesto   ·  July 31, 2015
    Thanks, it's fun to write.
    They say "write what you know" don't they Sotek? I've seen some really good drunk acting as well. I sort of hear the speech in my head as I write, believe it or not
  • Sotek
    Sotek   ·  July 31, 2015
    You done really well here Idesto. I have a theory on your drunk speach. Either you record someone else who is drunk or you record yourself...
    great piece here well done. It really made me laugh.
  • The Long-Chapper
    The Long-Chapper   ·  July 31, 2015
    He's so drunk. It's awesome. I love the drunk speech.